Dealing with the Inner Critic

Therapy can be a great way to not only become aware of our internal thought-speak, but to learn different modes of relating to ourselves…countering the inner critic with greater self-compassion and self-kindness. Not all negative thoughts are automatically true…sometimes it’s about finding a more balanced thought that accurately reflects reality. 

You may find it beneficial to:

• Notice when your inner critic speaks and what it says. Write these thoughts down to get a bit of distance from them. Naming your inner critic can break some of the power they hold over you. 
• Notice what triggers each comment from your inner critic. Has someone said this to you in the past? 
• Ask yourself if you’d speak like this to a loved one or to a child version of yourself. Sometimes we are harsh to ourselves in a way we never are with others.
• Evaluate if the inner critic’s statements are based on facts or merely assumptions. 
• Ask, what is a more self-compassionate or balanced thought?
• Acknowledge the voice, but don’t get into a mental tug-of-war with what it says. Thoughts come and go, and not all of them are helpful or true.

You may find the work of Dr Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the area of self-compassion research, helpful in learning more about self-compassion and how to cultivate it in yourself. Dr Neff has numerous free guided practice exercises for enhancing your self-compassion that can be found here.

A trained professional can support you as you seek to understand your inner critic and develop a more balanced inner dialogue. Dr Hugo Gonzales (see the Clinician Spotlight below) has expertise in both individual and couples counselling and availability for appointments. 

Hugo is a clinical psychologist with 25 years of experience working with individuals and couples. He offers a supportive and in-depth approach to psychotherapy, helping clients gain insight into their emotions, patterns, and relationships while developing practical tools for lasting change.

With expertise in anxiety, depression, PTSD, and personality disorders, Hugo’s work is grounded in psychoanalytic psychotherapy, creating a safe space for exploration, healing, and personal growth. He is also trained in EMDR therapy, an evidence-based approach for processing trauma and distressing memories.

For couples, Hugo helps strengthen emotional connections, improve communication, and navigate relationship challenges by uncovering deeper dynamics and fostering understanding. His approach is warm, insightful, and tailored to each client’s needs, ensuring they feel supported as they work toward meaningful and lasting change.

Hugo is ADF/Open Arms-BUPA accredited.

Hugo has expertise in:

• Anxiety
• Trauma-related Disorders
• Trauma Processing & EMDR
• Couples Counselling
• Personality and Identity Issues